In Search of Fitzwilliam Darcy
by Liliumscribe
Summary: Darcy contrary to all appearance does want a wife but is loathed to make the effort. An attempt to get inside the Darcy headspace with a series of short missing scenes.
1. Mr Darcy, I Presume?

It was customary among gentlemen of good breeding to acknowledge a lady as she made her presence felt. To greet her, to praise whatever limited beauty she may possess. But Mr Darcy apparently had no notion of such social mores as he stood aloof, scrutinizing in this microcosm of society the foibles of his fellow men and noting the lack of womanly beauty in the limited selection that he was privy to.

Yet Mr Darcy would consider himself a gentleman. He was a man of means, his breeding and bearing all indicated that he was a man of stature. He was a man born to command the respect of his peers. Mr Darcy, however, did not care for the approbation of his peers for he did not necessarily think them his equal. It was scarcely to his mind arrogance, but plain factual truth. Their stile, their air were not comparable to what he had become accustomed to. To think otherwise, would be hypocritical. It would not be proper to indulge in tete-a-tete that one found intolerable, with company that one had no taste for. Hence likewise, it was logical and consistent not to give praise to any woman where praise was not due.

Like many man of his standing, he knew his duty as the only son and eldest child. It was necessary for him to marry, gain a suitable helpmeet worthy of his standing in life and produce heirs. He had no sentimental notions of marriage but it was an expectation he would willingly fulfil.

The search for a wife, however, was inconveniently hindered by his overwhelming distaste for conversation with women he was scarcely acquainted with. Conversing with women outside his family took a certain quality he did not possess. From time to time, he had the vaguest of notions that women found him attractive but his self-imposed detachment from polite society… and almost every form of society, in fact, narrowed the field considerably. The constant twitter of women pertaining to subjects outside his sphere of knowledge strained his nerves, due in part to his complete disinterest in the subject matter and in part to his own superior knowledge of the world that women were not privy to.

Although only eight and twenty, Darcy was in despair of finding a suitable life companion. It was a lamentable state he kept largely to himself for fear of such news reaching the ears of well-meaning relatives. He was firmly convinced that the problem did not lie with him and wondered perhaps if the education of women in his time was sorely lacking. No woman appeared capable of capturing his fancy and any that had sufficient beauty to commend herself in his eyes were deficient in accomplishments and conversational skills.

It was just like Bingley to employ his powers of persuasion to compel him to attend these diversionary affairs. But Bingley was a friend… his greatest friend and Darcy owed him a debt not only of friendship but of kindness. Bingley gave much and asked for little. A character trait that Darcy admired greatly in his friend. Bingley was ready to think the best of his acquaintances and companions while Darcy's nature sought to dwell on the evils of the human condition. They appeared to be the unlikeliest of friends but they served one another well, firmly believing that they had one another's best interests at heart.

In the best interest of his friend, Bingley thought it amusing and imperative that Darcy attend this ball. Admittedly Bingley himself had claimed the attentions of the most beautiful creature in the room (perhaps the most ravishing creature of his acquaintance), there were still one or two others that were more than adequately tolerable. It was just like Darcy to deny himself a charming diversion or two because of an impossible criterion of felicity he had conjured up in his own mind. Nevertheless, Bingley left his friend to his own devices. He was having far too agreeable a time to concern himself with lost opportunities that his friend was all too willing to disregard.

* * *

Edited: May/June 2012

I've cleaned up the original one shot just a tad and decided to continue this "story" with a series of missing scenes.

Many thanks to readers who have taken the trouble to drop a line or two over the years. Your interest in my little one shot has been very gratifying. Thanks especially to princessbuttercup whose comments inspired me to pursue this line of inquiry further.


	2. He Came, He Saw, He was Unimpressed

Darcy surveyed the room in his usual superior fashion but so engrossed was he in his preoccupations that he was unaware that his every move was under scrutiny by those he deemed his inferiors. The women that were the object of his derision earlier were returning the compliment with their brand of disapprobation. Not that he would have cared as he seemed oblivious to the fact that he was the subject of their drawing room whispers. His peevish arrogance was tolerated briefly while there was some prospect (limited as that might have been) of one of the local girls ensnaring him for the pride of Meryton. However, when he seemed immune to their charms (and even going so far as to spurn one of their own so publicly), he became a marked man.

Being disliked was scarcely something Darcy would lose sleep over. Popularity was a vulgar notion entertained by politicians and peasants. He, to his good fortune, was neither. He was, to all intents and purposes, a Darcy. It was fact drummed into him since childhood. Pummelled, in fact, would be closer to the truth. His father, bless his soul, could often be heard saying, "We're not here to be liked but to do what is right."

Mr Darcy, the younger, often allowed himself the luxury of thinking on the rare occasion that his father was speaking hyperbolically. The elder Mr Darcy was very well-liked while being renowned for his good deeds amongst the poor. For his own kin, however, his expectations were much greater.

To labour under such expectations, was Fitzwilliam Darcy's chief occupation in life. _Noblesse oblige_ ran deep in this family. His father had been a noble and wise man so it was only sensible that the son would embark on the same course as the father. In due course the son was highly regarded by his tenants and the poor were equally gratified by his attentions. The son, like the father, dispensed the family fortune prudently and he was likely more popular in Derbyshire than in Meryton. Sadly, there was still one thing he lacked - a wife. Alas, it had not been his good fortune to have found such a wife like his own dear mother. Glumly he believed that there would not be half a dozen women near as good as his dear mother. He was convinced that happiness would be his if his future bride was at least half the woman his mother had been.

Scrutinizing the proud towering figure from a distance, Elizabeth Bennett was intrigued but not impressed. The man who had spurned her as a dance partner was so distant, so remote that he scarcely belonged in the room. His tall, elegant figure was an anomaly in the midst of the carousing that he so evidently disdained. Clearly he had no desire in being agreeable or companionable. Nor would he indulge in any pretence to be so. What Mr Darcy's intentions were, was a matter for Mr Darcy alone.

Despite her intense dislike for the man, there was something oddly attractive about this proud Mr Darcy. His aloofness gave him stature and... an aura of unshakeable self-confidence. It was as if he answered to none but his own conscience. He was, in short, untouchable. Even Elizabeth had to admit, rather grudgingly that such a man was to be envied... and admired even.

Nevertheless, she pitied the unknown woman that would be tied to such a man. For her it would be unbearable to live with such cold, distant creature. Such a man would not care for such things as love. His thoughts would dwell on more practical matters... a marriage of love would scarcely be one of them.


	3. Sir, The Lady is a Trap

_Part 3: The Lady is a Trap..._

Mr Darcy was troubled and Mr Darcy was seldom troubled, least of all, by women. To his mind, the fairer sex rarely warranted further consideration beyond what social niceties dictated. A certain Elizabeth Bennet, however, was rapidly becoming an exception to the rule.

The once _merely tolerable_ Miss Bennet of Longbourne was lately a regular visitor in his private deliberations. For a man so steeped in convention, it was incomprehensible that he should be so tempted by someone beneath him socially. That he, a man of stature in genteel community could be susceptible to the limited charms of one outside his sphere was laughable. Nonetheless having spent time with her at close quarters, he had begun to view her in a rather different light despite his earlier remarks to Bingley.

Much to his own dismay, her very presence aroused a kind of curiosity that he felt sure was decidedly inappropriate to entertain. More than anything he was eager to hear her speak – more eager than he was ready to admit to. Her lively manner both astounded and fascinated him. To meet a young woman who was so transparent with her notions and so free with her wit was rare in the circles he traversed. Was it vulgar impropriety on her part? Mr Darcy was increasingly uncertain regarding that point. To complicate matters further, he could detect no vulgarity in her speech even if her sportive and combative way of talking had left him reeling on occasion.

No doubt, Elizabeth Bennet was turning into an irresistible force of nature that commanded his interest. Her wit was sharp and surprising – qualities that made her insidiously attractive to a man of the world. In Darcy's tumultuous mind, she could not be so easily dismissed and ignored. It would be easier to set aside these newfound feelings if the woman in question had fewer admirable traits. Still, her lively talents distinguished her from most of her sex. Hence, the continuing dilemma for Mr Darcy on this very point. Clearly, her intelligence would be an asset to any man running a large household as Darcy had to grudgingly concede but her lowly connections would make her an unsuitable candidate for a gentleman of his stature. Convention had it that social standing trumped any desirable personal attributes. It wasn't necessary to like one's spouse but it was advisable to do so.

Darcy was racked with indecision. The whole affair was impossible and yet the very thought of the woman herself was making him question the wisdom of social conventions that had been the bedrock of the gentry. Wrestling with the contradictions of his predicament was a novel situation for someone whose entire life was mapped out from birth. Clearly it had to be the foreign air around him which was diminishing his power to reason. How he allowed himself to be led around the noose by Bingley in the first place, was a matter for speculation.

Being attracted to a woman so irrationally was both a terrifying and exhilarating experience for Darcy. He tried desperately to put these thoughts to bed because a lifelong union was surely not a matter to be decided by sentiment.

At Netherfield Miss Bennet was quick to observe his discomfiture in her presence but credited that to his aversion of her or her class. Perhaps the great Mr Darcy was uneasy about slumming it with women of inferior antecedents.

She was secretly amused by his half-hearted attempts to make conversation with her. It obviously pained him to do so but perhaps Mr Darcy was not completely devoid of some of the social graces he was at pains not to demonstrate at Meryton.

Miss Bennet could not be blamed for not realising Mr Darcy's growing attraction to her as it was the furthest thing from her mind. During her time at Netherfield s she only had thoughts for her sister and it was inconceivable that a man who had held her in contempt only days before would suffer a complete change of mind so soon.

The pull to Miss Elizabeth Bennet was very strong indeed and Darcy knew it foolish on his part to give attention to a woman who was destined to be a ship passing in the night.

But then... he was a man who did not understand that he was falling in love.


End file.
